Really like a friend of mine... Unfortunately she's already in a relationship. Occasionally get calls because I'm apparently one of the only people she really talks to about stuff.

I just don't know what to do. An older friend of mine said when she got married that two guy friends came out of the woodwork and basically said her fiance wasn't the guy for her. At the time it was shit but later she looked at it as they were giving her a choice and that's not a bad thing. I don't want to risk losing our friendship, but as my other friend also said "What do you want more?" Argh, it's really been fucking with me all year.

I was going to tell her how I felt last night at the end of my birthday 'party' but I was too indecisive and waited too long and she'd just left by the time I got back outside again.

I'm about to go out of the country for nearly two months doing some pretty decent sailing so I have no idea whether it would have been a good or a terrible idea. Now after a drunken suggestion from her last night we might go interrailing in Europe this summer with a good friend of hers and a very good mutual friend of ours which is absolutely something I wouldn't want to miss out on by ruining something with a few words... At the same time drunken plans tend to have a high fall through rate...

Sorry for ranting about this but it's really on my mind a lot right now. I'm off on Monday to go on some yacht deliveries and not back until July when she'll be back up in her home town rather than in London... Got too much to organise so I wouldn't even be able to see her before leaving probably... And anyway she's got exams she's super worried about starting next week so it's probably not the best time to add to her list of shit being thrown at her, if that's how she might consider it.

Ah bollocks, thanks for the opportunity to rant...