I'm gasping for air this morning. I knew I was overdue for another HA HA HA FUCK YOU from the Universe.

Last year I vended my handmade jewelry at a convention where things did not go well. I had been super excited about the convention and spent a lot of money I did not have to go to it. I left there very much in the hole and decided to not go back.

The convention happened again two weeks ago. This week I messaged another handmade vendor I knew through Reddit (I used another account) to ask how she did, as she vended there. She wrote me back that she was there "for the exposure" and still made a profit but not enough to be worth it, and that she did better than most. Fair enough.

Then she told me she had taken it upon herself to look at my internet presence, and she had some critiques for me, a la "sorry if they were harsh, but she wished someone had told her this when she was starting out."

Good thing she pre-apologized for being harsh.

The lady who told me all this is half my age, fresh out of college, and already "in" with several key people. This is all she does. Nothing she said was news to me, and is all stuff that has simply been out of range and bandwidth due to ‪the ongoing catastrophes of the last six years. We all know too well that raging and throwing fits doesn't do a damn thing to change anything, so I just lived with it. I do not invalidate anything she said. I'm just....is it too early to drink?

There have been times in my life when someone who does know better has ripped me a new one, and I have become a better artist or person or whatever because of it. I need time to decide if this is the same category.

"When I was starting out"? BITCH, I STARTED MAKING JEWELRY WHILE YOU WERE PLAYING IN THE SANDBOX AT PRESCHOOL.