I'm sorry if this post sound intrusive and confident that you will reject Christianity, but I believe there is very small probability that we will end up with a view resembling anything like what we previously believed, once we begun typing the things you mention into the Google search box. The category of 'faith' in the traditional sense will certainly evaporate.
I want to tell you that you are brave to set out on this journey, personally it has been quite an adventure. So don't be frustrated, it will work out.
The moment the true and honest 'What if there is no god?' hits can be scary, but maybe I have some tips.
Take some days where you assume there is no god. Not in an intellectual way where you ask 'what about morals' and so on. Just assume and observe. Observe your actions, see how you still want to love and live and so on.
Consider the fact, that me, you and your parents are/were simply believe because we grew being told that there is a God. There may be evidence (I don't believe there is) but it is not the reason why we believe it.
I'm not going to tell you that there is no god, that is impossible to prove. It sounds like you don't believe in the traditional Christian God but your further investigation into the question of deism/pantheism/etc will be much easier if you invalidate the Christian God first.
Here are some things the helped me to reject the Christian God:
Big Bang and evolution are scientific facts, original sin is a myth
Old Testament scholars and archaeologists believe the Exodus and Moses/Sinai is also mythical.
The New Testament has forgeries, the gospels are at best written 30-40 years after the events and it will greatly help to read some of the other religious texts from that era, apocalyptic and gnostic texts, to see that people at the time didn't really care about history and truth in the same way we do today. The modifications and countless contradictions in these texts show that the writers really aren't our friends.
Furthermore, when we grow up as Christians, we get the idea of God into our heads so early that it is really hard to see how evil God is, both regarding the Old Testament but also the New Testament doctrine of hell.
Likewise the problem of evil isn't really considered as a Christian, but there really is no adequate answer to the problem/paradox, so if you really start being skeptical and question the logic behind atonement, prayer, heaven and so on there will be no turning back to the theist position, I believe.
When the transition from theism is over you will be free and open to all the possibilities of truth - atheism, deism, pantheism, god as love og being itself, Christ as a symbol and so on. But the worship of an anthropomorphic deity in heaven will be a part of the past. You will see that see that god is a word that you can chose to use or not use, but it will not be causing any doubt and frustration and so on.