Exactly. My partner is autistic, but if she had trouble maintaining basic things like hygiene, it’s not something that I would just let fly under the radar. It’s one thing to be depressed and not have enough energy to shower that day. It’s another thing to let it get to the point that you’re negatively impacting everyone around you by fouling up the entire classroom.

It’s a lesson she needed to learn. It wasn’t an easy lesson, but she clearly wasn’t going to learn it any other way. Was setting her up for failure cruel? Yes. Should OP have done it? Probably not. Especially with white pants. But it’s a lesson she’ll never forget, because when parenting failed, social pressure (via bullying) instilled the message. OP’s daughter likely would’ve faced bullying for it eventually anyways, since there’s no way to go the entirety of high school without having a class time period. At least this way she learned it early enough that it won’t affect her professional working life as an adult.