I hope this isn't insensitive but I'm curious about the thought process.

I watched a video about a girl who suffers from a disease which causes her to approach death often and flatline. She said it's hard because her mind entered a childlike like state, with an overwhelming desire to hang on to her existence. I'm wondering, was that an obstacle or did your depressed state of mind nullify that? In other words was this hard for you to take the leap into the unknown, or was your depression such that you had no resistence whatsoever to death in your mind? It sounds a bit like your action was a spur of the moment thing, since you regretted it immediately afterwards, but I can't imagine what it must have been like.