Im in no way insecure.

I come from the old belief that when two people are married and dedicated that are for eachother and nobody else. And to want to break that bond is wrong and uncalled for.

Sex is not something I throw around loosely with just anyone. I must be in a dedicated and committed relationship with a girl. And I will never consider having sex or loving anyone other than her. And I would expect no less than the same. Yes you can still have that and have a trusting relationship with open communication.

This is why I dont just get with the first girl I meet, I date different people until I meet someone whi I feel is right for me and hopefully she feels the same way, then we go on from there.

It is in no way toxic for two people to be in a monogamous relationship together. When two people are open about eachothers feelings and actually love eachother this will never become a problem.

In fact, from my perspective I see you as the one who feels insecure. Because you feel like you must let your partner have sex with someone else now and then otherwise he will not be satisfied, he will feel closed in, and want to leave you. From my persepctive it looks like you are okay with him cheeting on you as long as your involved so that he gets his fill and doesnt want to seek a monogamous relationship where he would be fully satisfied. From my point of view, that is a failing relationship that will not last very long.

When two people are monogamous but end up breaking up, its hecause they were not a good fit. They need to find someone who they can have a good relationship with. Sure allowing a 3 way or a train can help keep them both together, but its like a piece of tape on a broken pencil, it will only hold for so long before the tape no longer works. Then you find a new pencil.

In my opinion its better to get it right the first time and have long term happiness rather than a short term quick fix.