Hey man, I've been in a similar situation as you. My mom wasn't an alcoholic but I was a spite baby (my mom got pregnant with me so my dad wouldn't leave her).
Growing up I never felt a bond with my mom. She didn't play with me as a child and when she did I could tell she was just so uninterested. I spent all my time with my dad. I told my mom I loved her out of obligation. I used to make art projects for my dad and I found one about a year ago and saw that I had written "to dad, I love you" with tons of x's and o's. And in scribbled hand writing "and you too, mom."
My parents went through a brutal divorce when I was 7. I remember they were shouting at each other once and I was late for my horse riding lessons (and just wanted them to stop arguing) and I was trying to get their attention when my mom turned to me, looked me dead in the eye, and said "I never loved you and I wished you were never born." And, even though I didn't understand the emotions then, it was like my whole relationship with her made sense. Mommy never plays with me because she doesn't love me. Mommy doesn't come to breakfast with daddy and I on the weekends because she doesn't want me. Etc.
It only got worse from there. My parents sat me down and asked who's house I wanted to spend time at (side note: this is NOT the way to go about working out a custody arrangement.) and I said both because I could see my mom just glaring at me. But I didn't want to be at her house at all. She constantly blamed me for us being short on money, blamed me for getting me to school late when she wouldn't wake up, it was my fault she had to move in with grandma, etc.
One time she picked me up from my dads house and threatened to drive into an oncoming semi-truck with me in the car because I didn't want to go to her house. When I was 12 she accused me of using heroin because we were arguing (because that makes sense, right?). She started babysitting a lot when I was in high school and I remember seeing how happy she was with other peoples' kids and feeling resentful and angry. Why didn't she ever get excited to see me when I was a kid? Why didn't she want to play with me or spend time with me when I was that age?
I got a tattoo at 19 and she literally said "you need to move back home so I can control you!"
She was an absolutely terrible person. Everyone else thought she was mother of the year.
Last November (i was 25) she threatened to call the guy I was seeing and ask him about my drinking if I didn't "level with her like an adult" because I'd told my dad in confidence I was going to AA.
But you know what? I moved out at 18 and our relationship has been 100 times better. I can't live with her, but when we don't live together because of how sporadically we talk we have more meaningful conversation. She obviously still has her moments, but she's a much much better. I think because she's not dealing with the daily annoyances of my presence that she's able to look at my life more and take more interest in what I'm doing.
There were many many years where I did not love my mom. Hell, I didn't even like her. But now I do. And we've learned to communicate.
Quite frankly because of the relationship I had with my mom I have way better communication and life skills. Unfortunately I'm an over-communicator when I'm upset or angry, but I am much better in tune with why I feel the way I feel. I can also read people better, and I know I will be a fantastic mom some day because I know how not to treat children and how they read your negative actions.
Tl;dr: it will get better with age and space. Am a well-adjusted adult now.