Exactly. Sorry about your bs gender wars, nerds, but how about Option C: both are crazy, regardless of gender. Look, sex is an undeniably important aspect of any relationship, but if your husband or wife says "Man, I'm just not feeling it and haven't been for a hot minute" the adult thing to do is sit down and talk to the person and figure out what's up, not immediately raw dog a rando in the bathroom of a seedy public house as quickly as you can unbutton your fly. Any number of things could be wrong with them: mental illness, poor health, anything. It could be you. Maybe you stopped showering or you're too busy playing Witcher 3. You don't know until you talk about it.

So, maybe the two of you talk and you figure out you aren't compatible. That's fine. Worse things have happened. You can be mature, shake hands, and part ways. But if you don't even make an effort at repairing the tattered ruins of your sexual relationship, you're basically an ass hole. You're even MORE of an ass hole if you do a nose dive towards the most immediate and willing piece of strange and immediately stick yourself inside it or stick it inside you without even trying to get at the root of the problem. Relationships are work, sometimes. They can be good or bad, but if you don't put any work into them they are guaranteed to be bad. And if you're too selfish to offer help to the person you love in what could be a time of need, you need to ask yourself if you have any worth as a human being.

Summer fling? Whatever. Kick them to the curb. But if you're married, you have to admit that the reason you're tearing your life apart without even an attempt at emergency sutures isn't because your spouse is ignoring you: it's because your deep rooted insecurity won't be sated until you fuck someone else.

And putting yourself before others is the definition of an ass hole.