this will sound minor, but...

after what should've been a minor falling out, she pass-agg called me out, publicly, on incidents she'd previously told me were nbd. and spent months thereafter being a weird internet troll mean girl to someone who loved her, to this day,, which ultimately resulted in someone i've known longer than i knew her, silently giving me a fuck you. and now they both act like i'm the asshole. i probably should've expected that an internet troll would eventually troll ME, but somehow i thought she reserved that nonsense for strangers.

i also should've not ignored her treatment of strangers, since that in and of itself was shitty. and i don't hold myself blameless; perhaps i was doing a thing i didn't realize, and am a piece of shit as a result. but it's weird being 44 and feeling bullied like i was still in high school.

i love her to my grave, but knowing how little she thinks of me is the thing i can't get past. it felt, and feels, like a massive betrayal that all the things i shared with her that i thought she understood, she after one simple argument turned around on and used against me, publicly. i still don't understand.