If you game, seek out a kink server for people you play the game with.

If you’ve just been joining “femdom servers” or the large bdsm servers it’s like night and day. No sex sellers or people roleplaying they’re a cute little femboy or sissy maid.

There are good and bad servers. Not every server has you send in your drivers license (don’t do that) to get full access. The close knit ones have you do something like reach level ten to get full acess, which means you have to interact and get to know people over the course of weeks and months.

Like everything in life, you get out what you put in. I can take three months to find a new server I fit in with. I know what to look for at this point. It took a lot of time and energy to figure that out. Are people advertising only fans in a sex sellers channel? Are people getting hacked and having their account post illegal pics in general? (That only happens in the large sex/bdsm servers ime so I stopped joining those altogether), is role play a focus or a side interest? Are there an even number of men and women? Is it lgbtq friendly? Are there plenty of other channels for nonsexual interest?

That last question is absolutely key to creating “one big dirty, supportive, friendly family” kind of atmosphere.

No, I’m not sharing what games I play.