I have a 3.5 year old and a 1 month old. I still have time for myself, so does my wife. Adult time is usually 8 until 9:30 and then we usually hang out together for a half an hour to an hour and then bed. I also sleep in once a week.

Everyone's schedule is different, but my wife and I try to keep things even. Before the second kiddo we'd both get a couple hours a night to ourselves. Basically the time from kiddo bedtime until our bedtime. Now we rotate who watches the baby (who will sometimes just sleep the entire time) after kiddo 1s bedtime. Tonight my wife spent time by herself in her craft room organizing while I sat on the couch feeding number 2 and watching YouTube. Often she'll make herself clothes or take a bath. Last night I played Battlefield 1 with a buddy and drank beer for two hours.

We each usually sleep in one weekend day where the other will kid wrangle. Then we switch.

I have a generally normal number of hours per week of work, but I'm self employed and work from home, so there's freedom there. But I typically spend my saved commute time with my family or working more and not on myself.