Thank you so much again for your time.

I'm not sure if I have attachment issues. I've only ever been in long term relationships. My previous relationship in SD lasted 4 years on and off though, and looking back i should have left and never went back after the first break up - he would constantly be chasing other girls, inadvertently make me feel insignificant etc. He was just younger and immature, as everyone pointed out. I was just too into it to see. Either way that relationship ruined my trust in anyone, on top of the fact that my dad was not a loyal husband. And on top on top of that my brother, who I look up to and admire, cheated on his girlfriend of 8 years. At the beginning of my relationship with my current bf, things were great and I actually felt like i could trusted him completely. It felt really awesome and different, but disloyalty with my dad resurfaced (the first incident happened in high school), then the situation with my brother happened. I know not everyone is the same but to see shitty things go down with people you thought you could trust and look up to is tough. And then finding out my bf still talked and interacted with his ex (after telling me he didn't like me doing that), even after saying he doesn't like girls like her and all this other stuff to make me believe he didn't give a shit about her, added to my relationship anxieties. He has since blocked her from everything and makes no contact with her. But my crazies, those little irrational bitchy voices coming up with shitty scenarios of him and other girls (hes a tattoo artist, so up close and whatnot with girls sometimes) gets to me. I hate it because its like i am observing this crazy side of me go off while at the same time I know i shouldn't worry about anything.

I want to see someone. I just have to get up and off my ass.