I'm severely underweight (not on purpose or anything, just happened), apparently have a "critical" vitamin-D deficency, seemingly developing insomnia and struggling with depression. Right now I'm terrified of getting out there in the world and finding a job like a responsible human being.

Also, I have a good friend from a different country who's met me once in real life. He fell in love with me before we met face to face, but we settled that there wouldn't be anything "more" than friendship between us. He's very insecure but a wonderful and humorous guy. When he came to visit me just after new year's we had a blast, but by the end of the visit I made the mistake of lowering some physical barriers (nothing sexual or anything), partly as a result of alcohol. He suddenly started getting very touchy and stuff, and I hadn't quite established personal boundaries for myself in situations like these before. Lots of hugging and speaking to me in a weird soft voice, like I was much younger or small and fragile or something. It started getting a little uncomfortable, and as soon as I applied the brakes he lashed out at me for making him feel "used" and stuff. He later apologised and said he realised he'd been in the wrong, but it cropped up later online like he hadn't meant it.

I'm meeting him again tomorrow, although he's visitting a common friend of ours who I will also stay with. I'm kind of nervous that he'll be all touchy again. I don't mind friendly physical affection at all, but with him it started feeling forced. Like, I didn't want to hurt his feelings or confirm his negative body image. For various reasons I've never recieved this kind of attention from men before, so I don't really know how to deal with it without making him feel bad or breaking our friendship. It's making me real anxious.

So that's my most immediate worry at the moment.