The first major narc moment I had that I remember was calling a girl a stupid bitch out loud in science class in middle school. I thought she was talking shit on me, turned out she had a huge crush on me and I overheard my name. Cocktail party effect.

The most recent really memorable one was around a year ago. I threatened violence on my ex when she cheated on me. I didn’t really plan to go through with it, I wanted her to feel similar internal pain that I felt. At the time I felt like I had lost something valuable, and that to me is the very worst feeling. It’s the opposite of winning and it had nothing to do with me. I didn’t want her to feel safe anymore in that moment, though she was indeed safe. It was a poor decision, though I convinced her not to call the police. I think I convinced her that my threat was so passive aggressive that it wasn’t really a threat.

She’s way worse than me so don’t feel sympathy for her. I’m only bringing to light my actions.