Years before she met me, my GF went on spring break in Negril with her sorority sisters. One of the bars they went to had a spinner wheel with all kinds of dirty drink names…blowjob, sex on the beach, slippery nipple, screaming orgasm, etc. It was some kind of thing that the bar did with an MC who made a big deal about getting a guy and a girl to volunteer to spin the wheel. My GF’s friends “volunteered” her (they were “those” type of friends) by lifting her arm and generally putting on a scene. So she spun the wheel with some dude and it landed on slippery nipple.

The whole point of the wheel was act out the drink name like charades, and if the crowd approved, then the whole bar got that drink for free for an hour. There was a little sign underneath the wheel that said “Boos = No Booze.” The MC offered my GF a tub of whipped butter, which she refused, but the crowd hissed and booed. It went on like this until she ended up in a buttery hand bra, but declined to flash the crowd. Meanwhile, people were tossing beads at her trying to get her to uncover and the dude she was partnered with suggested that he slide “it” between her boobs so the crowd would get off it. She went for it and kept her hand bra while he slipped around between her “girls.” She was laughing and looking at her friends when she felt the guy pull away. Suddenly the crowd went completely apeshit and her friends faces turned into a no f-ing way expression. The dirtbag guy had leaned in and was coming in her mouth.

The story is totally effed, but I cannot tell you how thankful I am that this happened before smartphones and digital cameras were in everyone’s pocket.