I really wanted to tell you that you’re not the asshole but changed my kind to YTA due to your reasoning.

If YOU didn’t want to be in the same household as his father then you wouldn’t be the AH

However, it is not your place to tell your boyfriend what is and isn’t healthy for him. And then try to force you opinion down his throat.

It would’ve been undertandavle to express your concerns to your boyfriend and let him know that if it started to affect his mental health then you wouldn’t be sticking around. You have that choice. To do what you want with your life. But so does your boyfriend. And you don’t get to take that away from him.

Also, you don’t get to hold your past experiences over his head. Especially an experience with an ex.

You completely lacked empathy and tried to control your boyfriend here. You can only control your actions. Not his.