If you want to die because life is pointless, then maybe you need to find a purpose? I feel like this is one of those side effects of modern living. Historically people often had/still do have purpose thrust upon them (either from external sources or from within), but now it's the sort of thing we have to actively seek, though a lot of times its straight up easier not to.

So stay vigilant, watch the world around you until you find something that catches your eye and gives you a reason. And rather than hesitating, dive in because it's your life at stake. Dying before you ever really even lived is sad, I think. But to each their own.

Considering you're not spiritually boxed in you have a lot of mental freedom, and nihilism is often as much in your head as anything else. So the question then is whether you -want- to think nihilistically or not. If there is no meaning then there is also no meaning in thinking there is no meaning. Purpose is innate to itself, and not necessarily as a means to a more permanent end, I think. Things have meaning even if they're temporary, and this includes your life itself. It's one of those glass half empty glass half full kinds of things. Why humans long for permanency I still don't understand but given our current situation/understanding its a habit that can be somewhat obstructive.

As for the social aspect, don't sweat it. A lot of people are like this one the inside. Without injecting too much of my bullshit into it, the world is very socially complex these days, and often imposes high expectations. How social you are is NOT a measure of your value. And, I think once you find meaning, you'll also find more reasons to be social. Possibly.

The gravity of finding a reason to live is so immense you can't possibly look at it so objectively.