I did the math - based on condom purchases and use I've had sex every 5.3 days, roughly, for the last year and 9 months.

This is after it improved, and on paper doesn't sound so bad, although I'm more of an every day to every other day kind of guy. However, I still have almost no confidence in seriously initiating (I've literally initiated by touch once in the last year), and 90+% of the time our sex is methodical - I get her off, then we have sex either missionary or her on her side. There is almost never foreplay for me. A decent amount of the time she'll want to orgasm while I'm in here and positioning is awkward leading me to just kneeling there with my dick in her not moving for several minutes, which causes my hips to lock up and start hurting.

I've had three blowjobs in our entire relationship. Handjobs are usually so painfully uninterested on her end that I just tell her to stop.

The last couple times we've had sex we've changed some stuff up and it's been genuinely exciting for me and much more fulfilling on my end, but it makes me more interested and want to do it more... which doesn't happen.

Our sex life isn't bad on paper. I'm just not really fulfilled and without regular variety it just stops being intimate and more of an exchange - I give her an orgasm so I can be permitted to enter her and cum.