I hear ya. I don't even know what to say. If you ever feel like really doing it though... just try to make it to the next day. Idk what its like to actually get to the point of actual suicide but one thing that help is saying there is always tomorrow, and sometimes tomorrow sucks too but i say it again, and sometimes the next day or even week sucks, but I say it again and eventually theres either a whole day thats tolerable or even ten minutes where I can crack a smile. It leads me to believe eventually there will be a year I can smile or something. Why cut down our possibilities. Plus if I do make it.. I could only imagine the joy ill expirience the day im released from prison... If im strong enough to do a good amount of time... and i really have no fuckin vlue if I can or not, but i'll be counting the days n trying to get to tomorrow.