Oh man. I hope I don't regret this, but it's time for me to come out of the proverbial woodwork. You're hurting and you don't deserve it. I would never do this in normal circumstances, but her driving you to therapy - there's only so much I can just watch.
Hannah's feelings are NOT any of your fault, man. She is a seriously wounded person who has abandonment issues based on her family history, her abysmal dating record (fact; most of her boyfriends have unceremoniously dumped her), and her discomfort with her body and checkered sexual history. I say this because I was one of the people who dated her immediately prior to you, and got a small chance to peek "inside the armor" if you will – Hannah and I actually deal with the EXACT SAME (not kidding) mental issues. Here's another factoid: there was never gonna be happy ending to this. Had you pursued her and always wanted to hang out she would promptly distance herself from you. I say this because that's how it happened to me - I really liked her and always was down to hang out, and once I made that clear, her interest in me immediately turned off, like a light switch. It makes perfect sense that you being busy and having healthy boundaries would send her into a jealous rage. She's a dog chasing cars, she wouldn't know what to do if she caught one. It's the PURSUIT that matters.
On the whole “you’re abusive” thing - You've probably noticed her getting into feminist theory and all that other rah-rah empowerment crap. This is a direct result of her pathology. Not that there's anything wrong with being feminist (or religious, or whatever), but a lot of people (especially in Seattle) use causes as a way to deflect insecurity. The logic goes like this: "Yeah, you have serious problems, but look at this evil out there in the world (patriarchy, sin, you name it), obviously since THAT exists, and people out there exist that are worse than you, you must not be so bad!” or “My faults are caused by outside forces (patriarchy, Wall Street, Jews, aliens, you name it) so it’s clear that I’m just a victim!” Again, surely you’ve noticed she leaps from organization to organization routinely. First it was the sorority, last year it was the church. Now it’s feminism. It’s all an act – she’s trying bury herself in something bigger than her so she won’t have to face her problems head on.
You are not alone in this, and you definitely aren’t the first person Hannah’s left in this situation, but there IS life after this dude. Hannah emotionally nuked me, and while it took a while to get back on my feet, I’m dating someone healthy and honestly, seeing your story makes me glad my relationship with her went south. Also, before you ditch all your friends because of this situation, be aware that Han has very few real friends, one of which (her best friend) stopped talking to her, permanently, for reasons just like this. I, for one, barely know you and will personally go on record vouching for you – this “he’s abusive” crap is more damaging than she understands, but is exactly how she operates when she’s angry. I don’t think Hannah is evil – I think she is a bad steward of her pain – but that doesn’t give her the right to fuck everyone else’s life because she’s hurting.
Feel free to PM me if you need to talk – I’ll even go for beers with you if you need a real heart to heart (it’s on me, seriously). I know literally EXACTLY how you feel right now.