Dude, I can relate on a lot of levels. I've only been a daily kratom user for a few months, but had history with other substances leading up to this. I'm tapering, but even at baseline stable on kratom, I'm acutely aware of extremely dumb decisions I've made over the past few years. I'm back at square one with my family, whom I do not get along with, and am trying to figure out where to go from here. All we can do is make small moves each day to improve our situation. I'm trying to work on my resume now, I'm trying to salvage a degree, I'm trying to network with old friends I can potentially move in with once I've got income... Just little things like that each day. I know for me it's too overwhelming when I look at the big picture, but I know from past experiences that big, positive changes tend to come from an accumulation of small decisions over weeks or months. Things generally have a way of working themselves out.