I get the feeling you and a lot of others will not like this comment, but I want to be honest and hey, you can ignore me if you wish.

You might consider seeing a psychologist - this isn't because you are crazy, or in the wrong, or anything like that. In a perfect world everyone would show you the respect and deference to not mention/play with it around you, but since that isn't going to happen, seeing a psychologist to help learn cognitive techniques around ignoring/bypassing those thoughts may help you a lot. If you can get to the point where people say these things and it doesn't bother you anymore, i think that is the best practical outcome. But it will involve some serious introspection and learning to master your cognitive an emotional behaviour. It's difficult, but a psychologist isn't just for people with a diagnosable mental illness. You are having some troubles, and they may be able to help you learn to ignore it.

I'd love to be able to tell you to ask them to stop knowing they would, but sadly people don't work like that. It's unfair, but sometimes people just want to be assholes to each-other, so really the only thing you can do is learn to ignore it.