It sounds like you're in a truly hard place. 8/10 on the ACE scores is terrifying for a young child to go through.
Meds
The way my therapist described it was some problems were caused by a brain chemical imbalance, and some are learned through shitty childhoods. My opinion on meds is if i had an infection in my foot I would have no problems taking something to support my body in healing, and just because you can't see it doesn't mean brains are different. The thought of having to be on meds sucks, but if it can make life easier. My husband had a devastating breakdown before we met. He found the right drugs, adjusted them when he felt like they weren't meeting his needs, and they've changed his life. I've seen how positive they can be, and know that it's just brain chemistry playing up. You say you're sitting in a daze, it sounds like you could be a little depressed? Is it kinda like this? You need to be able to sort that to be able to interact with your daughter - that's a priority here.
Therapy
It sounds like that psychiatrist is not the one for you. You need to find one you can trust, keeping in mind trust doesn't appear from the start, it's a relationship that grows through subsequent visits. You have to build a relationship with someone, and then eventually you will feel like opening up. And in the meantime you deal with small things. While you find someone you would like to form a therapy relationship with, why not look at something like the dialetical behavior therapy workbook. It's designed for people with BPD (Im working through it with my husband), and although I personally don't have BPD, I've found the concepts in it life changing. I think you'd get a bit out of this workbook, it's bought a sense of peace to my own life, and it's very empowering. It takes awhile to work through because it is emotionally taxing, but it's quite freeing at the same time.
It's time for you to start this, your little girl needs it to, and it sounds like you are a very caring person that is paralyzed by everything you've been through.