Hello!

I recently came out to my core group of guy-friends as bi. Well, drunk me came out to my core group of guy-friends as bi. Hah.

Here's what it comes down to: there will be those who are cool with it, and there will be those that are put off by it. Luckily, my group of friends was cool with it. There are yet some of my friends that don't know about my sexuality. Why? Because I know that they couldn't handle it, it would make them feel awkward and definitely change the dynamics of the friendship - even after we've been friends for years.

That's how it is.

Now, if you're having trouble meeting new people because you're gay, I'd say only to tell the people you meet about your sexuality when you need to. For someone you've just met who isn't gay/bi, finding out that your new bro is gay/bi might just be a bit too much for them. I'd say to hold off until you meet one of two criteria:

• You've known them long enough or well enough to know that coming out to them won't mess things up, or

• You want to hook up with them and want to take that gamble that they might reject you if they're not interested / not gay/bi.

If I have a guy friend who knows about my sexuality and is hetero, then I just act normal around him. I haven't run into any problems yet.

The only real behavior of mine that I change is changing in front of my friends in front of the gym. If I'm getting dressed, I move out of sight. Likewise, if they're getting dressed/undressed, I move out of sight as well. It's just a respect thing, because you know in the back of their head they're wondering "is he checking me out?", and I don't want that discomfort to be a factor in my friendships with hetero guys.

But, hey, what do I know. I've been labeled as to conservative as a bisexual by some of my more liberal friends. I'm not suggesting that you hide your sexuality, just that you be strategic about how and when you tell them.

Best of luck to you. I'm open to any questions or comments.