So, things got pretty bad for me in different, but similar ways. It all came to a realization after yelling at my 3 year old because he wouldn't focus on anything and it was going to make me very late to work. He looked at me with a giant look of disappointment on his face. A few hours it hit me: he was super distracted because he was all excited that it was my birthday. Yea... i felt like a giant asshole after that. I was dealing with the most stressful period of my life then, every angle of life was about to fall apart unless I was putting in 100hr weeks at work and trying to support my spouse who was constantly in the emergency room for a mystery illness that was looking potentially fatal. Hell, I was actually working from the ER on many occasions while watching my kid... but that look he gave me is what sticks with me the most. It's been almost a year and I still hate myself for it.

So, #1 - The fact that you are impacted by this means you care. #2 - Find little ways to cut down on the load that produce a collective chunk of "free" time that lets you focus on further improving the situation. Maybe it's letting the baby learn to self sooth at night so you can get some sleep. Maybe it's letting the baby figure out how to take milk from a bottle. Maybe it's finding these types of things with your other kid. Maybe it's cutting back on random house chores and delegating them to your spouse. Every time you achieve one of these, use the time you gained to focus on the next. When you get a bit more, use it to do things like look for a baby sitter that will give you a few hours per week to recharge on your own.

This is how I have handled things. Things have gotten better. New things have come crashing down. Some days I feel proud that I manage to hold everything up. Many days I hate myself for being an asshole just due to the stress...