Joe Biden will not run for President. Shame, he could have been a real "hands-on" leader

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/3prz53/tifu_by_almost_accidentally_killing_myself_thanks/cw8xnf9?context=3

I go jogging at the local park a couple times a week and there's this really attractive girl who is usually there when I am.(It's SFW) I always see her with a couple friends and this older woman. So I went for my usual Thursday jog today and she was there alone which is unusual. Even more unusual is I see her checking me out. I thought I was just imagining things as I am very unattractive (43 years young, nearly bald, 5'7 and 192 lbs... you get the ugly picture).I ignore it and I jog another lap around the park. As I pass by her once more she is again staring at me with these wanting eyes. In disbelief that such a gorgeous girl would be paying so much attention to me I shook it off and did another lap. After I finished my last lap and began my cool off walk she hesitantly walks up to me. [This totally catches me off guard and I'm really shy. I'm thinking okay, keep it together and just act natural. She takes my hand, looks me in the eyes and says, "Please help me sir, I can't find my mommy." We start walking off together. The older lady I always see her with I guess was her mother and she comes out of nowhere screaming at me. I start panicking. I let go of her hand and started running. I heard her scream that she was calling the police. I am on probation and I'm not supposed to be at the park. I'm a couple blocks up the road hiding in someone's backyard posting this from my phone.

TL;DR: The hot girl at the park finally talked to me and her mother freaked out.

/r/pics Thread Parent Link - i.imgur.com