It’s not. There are maybe 20-40% of people who are gunners. I goto a large school (40k undergrads) which, like a big city, people will ignore you for the most part. I make a concerted effort to make friends but there are a lot of barriers to that- my own personal issues (angry and cynical at not being able to see my kid and h able to afford the means to contest that), the fact that I’ve never been a socialite, and the constant business. I suppose if I let up on grades and focused on friends it’d be nice. Right now I just can’t do that- I’m scraping by in my last semester of physics and Ochem and the frustration at spending time I could otherwise spend doing healthy things for myself (like building positive relationships, working out, eating healthy) is spent drawing mehanisms and doing physics problems. The profs are hard asses that expect us to study all day. I can’t let up and it’s just pissing me off how pointless this work is. If someone was thinking about going through this process as I’ve experienced it, I’d recommend that they stay away.