Nailed it. If anyone wants to know what it’s like staring into the abyss, and having it stare back at you, try being a crippling alcoholic with enough health/money to keep the cycle going - for awhile. I stopped feeling like a human being and felt like I erased my entire personality.

No going out of the house except for booze, no time spent with friends, and then the best part is when your body can’t handle alcohol anymore, so you’re just sick all day and trying to keep it down so you can stay buzzed and not have to spend more money on re-upping because you’ve puked up all of the rotgut you swallowed earlier that morning.

And then there’s that small sliver of contentment when you’ve taken enough antacids and managed to keep down some food and water so you can get a little bit of the old warm boozy glow before you pass out again and start the cycle all over again.

I also like how there was a period of time where I’d stop making eye contact with the person at the liquor store at 10 AM because I felt ashamed, but then at some point I stopped caring because I realized people like me are their bread and butter.