You're mad at the world, and its overwhelming you so much you're incredibly unhappy and depressed.
You don't want to deal with these people, shitty or stupid, so you rather just tell them to fuck off. But it seems like maybe you've been holding it in too long and just giving the shitty people chances and not giving an opportunity to those who just want to talk to you. I think you've given up giving people a chance too quickly. I can understand that. If I had a choice to not bother to talk to people formally/informally or just in general to keep up with being polite I would take it in a heart beat. Talking to people sucks and they're so complicated I just don't want to bother anymore. But giving people a chance has helped me feel not so empty and alone with my thoughts. It's helped me to just stop being such a cynical bitch and to lighten up.
Sometimes we don't give people a chance because you feel like people won't give you a chance. You're putting your energy on stuff that is making really resentful to the point that YOU feel like the burden. And having motivation is tough. Some people don't get it when they haven't suffered severe depression or have a mental disorder thats related to dopamine like ADHD or Autism. Motivation is this weird concept your brain isn't connecting the dots to. It's like thinking about it and you're doing it in your brain but your body isn't moving and it makes you angry. The worst part is that you're trying but you feel like you're letting down a lot of people and you can't help it but to feel shitty.
I can't tell you that I myself have been 100% of myself everyday, but I can tell you that getting perspective has helped me along the way. And its helped to not focus on EVERYTHING at the same time but pick one thing at a time.
I think you should focus on trying to take your meds. Just that for now. There is a lot of resources that I can provide for you to get the help (without breaking the bank of course) but you need to slow down and do 1 thing at a time or you're going to overwhelm yourself and not do anything.