I think OP and I share some of the same feelings, although I’m completely twisted up about it.

I don't want to disrespect the people who share their thanks to Veterans and I believe they should continue doing so. For some reason typing this right now is very difficult for me, I think it’s because I’m exposing a part of me that I don’t even like to acknowledge. So here goes…
For me, when someone says thanks, it does the opposite of what is intended. I spent 23 years in the Navy and when someone thanks me for my service, I feel uncomfortable. I immediately go into my shell, I don’t know why, but I do, and I feel bad about it. I have major depression, anxiety disorder, and PTSD. These have created massive obstacles for me as I try to do the mental gymnastics to figure out why this reclusive behavior occurs. Unfortunately, I’m not at the point where I can figure it out yet. Not being able to find resolution makes me feel even worse about my response to something that is meant to be good. It’s hard for me to explain my mindset, I want to be that guy that says thanks and beams ear to ear with pride, but I’m not him. As I try to sort my thoughts I’ve come to realize a few ugly moments have left such a horrific impression in my mind I don’t enjoy the good memories. I only feel comfortable talking about my service with people I served with. Most of the time I can’t even broach the topic. There are even events in my Navy career that I only discuss with a select inner circle because those situations were so messed up. They were the ones there and are the only ones I can truly relate to.

I really don’t know how to express my feelings. I genuinely appreciate the people offering their thanks but for some reason it puts me in a bad place. I understand it’s not intended to put me there and I try not to show it, but I go home with my family and Husband/Dad isn’t all there for a while.

I don’t blame anyone, it’s my burden and I’m the one who has to overcome this hurdle and I will. I guess I’m typing this in hopes that sharing my feelings will be cathartic in some way. Sorry to be so dark and negative.