That has to be VERY frustrating for you to have to cope with bad parenting. But, to be fair, let me share with you, it can be really hard to be a parent, it just is. And if your dad is coping with addictions, oh boy. Sucks to be you, I totally understand that. But you need to look at him as just a people for a moment, obviously he isn't coping well with his life, he doesn't like it so he does drugs (or maybe it was something in the past that triggered it) you do know that coke addiction is like the worst. I've personally seen many go thru rehab several times for it. Only thing that might be worse is meth. That's bad chit right there mister. Drugs are an escape from reality and it's bad he made that choice because when you do make that choice, you are making the choice to make the people around you miserable. Hun, shaking my head, no matter how he loves you, and I am sure he does, he is working through a haze when dealing with you (either drug haze or residual effects from the drugs) I have no doubt, some where in him he wants to be a better parent- he's just not capable. You have to realize that and find a way to cope with it. If you are angry and say bad things, you are definitely going to get that from him. Try to stay as calm as possible, and some how I got a feeling you know all this, but keep trying. You are only responsible for you. Don't let him bring you down. I used to have a friend who did drugs and had four kids (cops caught on and here you can not have so much as a seed and they take your kids) but I often watched her.. oh boy, those kids had it rough, but when they took them I stepped in and got the kids and they stayed with me till their father came from Nebraska and got them. I had them thru the end of the school year (thinking it was three months) good kids though, when kids have to be the parent most of the time, they learn to make good choices early. lolol, not to say we didn't have some, errr, interesting moments, but I enjoyed having them... and to be honest I have no idea what happened to the mom (I'd bet she is in jail now too, she liked drugs more thn her kids, that about says it all) Mostly I knew them because they had lived up the road from us and her kids were same age as my kids)

But Farah, eeeks hun, her telling you stuff like that, just no. If she does, she is playing with you, if her and Mikey were real, real* she would not be sharing things like that with you and lords knows, Mikey would not be hitting her. You are seriously asking for trouble to keep that up. But. I know how love works, maybe you do see the good in her. Love is so crazy, I can sit here and tell you, source me. You can love like there's no tomorrow and still not be able to work things out.

I do not do drugs, I do advocate for medical mj but hard drugs, no. Just say NO is the best program they have for kids here. Meth is serious problem here. Scary problem. That chit is bad on soooo many levels. That is a hard core addiction.

Who bullies you? I'm not real sure on that topic. For me, I used to just avoid the bullies in school. And I do know that doesn't work for everybody, not knowing the specifics, I can't really say much. If you mean your parents, all I got is: suck it up till you can leave. Bottom line, they are the parent, you are the child. Sucks when you can't do anything about what they are doing, but learn how to cope with it. Foster care is always an option, but to be honest, it's not really a good one. I think there are good foster parents, but more bad thn good, so it's a turkey shoot, you could be trading one evil for another.

Alone can suck too, damn, you really are coping with a lot xX. But, I do kind of sort of know what you mean on this one. After my daughter died, I lost all of my friends, all of them. It was like they were afraid just knowing me, their kid might die.... weird, but true story: shortly after my daughter died a friend of her's died too. Hit and run (she was walking) after a concert at the state fair- it had nothing to do with my daughter, as far as I know she wouldn't of even went to that concert. But... people worry and sort of go, omg'sssss, maybe it is catching (idk, people can be strange about things like that.) So here I am alone and I have been alone so long, I just really don't care any more. I do my thing, thank god for the internet! and just kind of exsist I guess. I know what I should be doing, but I don't want to (yet) prolly will at some point, but for now I'm okay, fk'em they couldn't be there when I needed them. Do you know what I mean? And you would be surprised how many people you don't realize want to be your friend. Let the false charges thing die down and just... be friendly. Offer a smile, say hi, let conversation happen. (yano, I know I could if I wanted to, the problem is, I really don't want to atm... I'm wondering if maybe that isn't your trouble too- think about that a little. It annoys the crap out me that they couldn't figure out a way to still be my friend when I needed friends, and I'll bet you are just a little irked with peoples attitudes too. Sooner or later though, we need to forgive them and... carry on!! That's life though xX, it's all about choices, one is always deciding what they should do, consciously or no.

And trust. Well it's two way street. You give and you take. lolol and I'm pretty tired atm, I'll catch up with you later, hope you got some sleep and I, for one am grateful you made the right choice tonight. Be happy kiddo, that's a choice too. Listen to some good tunes, find a joke! last night I finally laughed about oh idk, night was almost gone, I didn't think I'd ever laugh again but that posters concept of the worst thing Trump could do if he were elected was funny & unexpected, till I thought about it, haha,i could totally see Trump doing it- (poster was very descriptive) Trump on mechanical bull in, I don't remember now, girls paintes...? yelling something with drink in hand, idk but it's even making me laugh now thinking about it. Humour gets me by a lot. lolol and get back to me, I will be worrying you all day- trust me on that one, I've told you all kinds of stuff I haven't shared with anyone else.

Kelly.

P.S. you do have a way with words, what you said about harnessing stress & shit and powering the earth, I like the way you put that.