Use of the term "Bait and switch" is an indication that you have no comprehension that over 25 years, [possibly not that long in this OP's circumstance, but I believe it is a significant amount of time], through life experience, people and/or their libidos change without any motivation. You basically suggest that from the outset, the OP's spouse deliberately trapped the OP and he was too fucking stupid to notice. You do both the OP and his spouse a disservice. This construction of basic human nature is incompatible with my philosophy that people are growing, adapting individuals who change with time [including their libidos].

You are basically suggesting that this OP is too stupid to notice he has been deliberately played in the long term. I disagree. I think his spouse likely has experienced depression/significant lifestyle pressure as a result of having a developmentally disabled child [excuse me if this is not the PC term in your geographic region] and this has impacted her self-esteem, self-image and sexuality.

The OP is enlightened enough to recognize this, and depending upon the starting point in this relationship, maybe sexuality will rebound, particularly if the OP stops being passive aggressive in his interaction. I am rooting for him, I think he is intelligent enough to recognize that a woman can take 5+ years to recover from pregnancy/childbirth/breast feeding in a normal situation ad his wife may take longer. [Note: I lactated for 5 years post breastfeeding a child. Hormonal changes are not short-term]. I believe he is 100% dedicated to his child, and from this he can surely acknowledge his wife's life angst, even if he cannot in the long term live with the lack of sexuality in their relationship.

You might vote this as "bait and switch" but I have faith that the OP sees beyond this superficial analysis of his relationship.