I don’t like blaming mothers either.

But, in his case his mother has enabled him a lot. Like co-signing for a motorcycle when he was unemployed. Or allowing him to live with her even though he has a great job now, 2 trucks, a car & a motorcycle. I want the kids to have a great life but how am I supposed to do that when he’s being that impulsive? It was frustrating and infuriating. When the drinking started getting really bad I tried to talk to him, and then went to her for help and she told me to keep my mouth shut and she’d handle it when she thought it needed to be handled.

The last time I spoke to her was months ago. My ex had called me very upset, drunk and screaming. She called me immediately after saying he was breaking things and freaking out(which wasn’t new behavior) and said she was sorry and realized he needed help.

If they were my own children I would have left long before but they were part of the reason I stayed, I wanted to be in their lives and make things better for them.