I just feel like if you choose to limit yourself to a situation where you spend 3+ hrs each day commuting you don't have much right to complain about it. Yes, there may be extenuating circumstances, but except in rare situations they're not delineating factors but rather choices that are made. No matter what path you choose, concessions need to be made.

Now to address your points:

Money - if you can afford a 3 hr daily commute you can almost certainly afford a deposit or increase in rent/mortgage. You might have to scrimp and be frugal for a month or two in order to save the money, but it can be done (plus, after the move that extra "commute money" can apply to the possible cost of living increase or be used to build savings). Selling a house would fall under one of my "extenuating circumstances" as a roadblock, but eventually it'll sell.

Family - everything about this is personal choice. With the exception of extremes like Camden and Detroit, for every "unsafe area" a city has there's also nice, safe areas. Kids are in a good school? You either choose to keep them in that school and commit to your commute or you find another well-rated school district near where you'd like to live. On the spouse commute increase, well, you need to evaluate the pros and cons. If you have a spouse and children do you really want to spend 30+ days each year commuting or is it maybe time for one of you to look for another job?

These are all personal questions that no one but yourself can answer, but to say that you can't move is a lie. If you put in the time, planning, and dedication you can overcome any of the roadblocks that are in your way.

And on a final note, the quote that you so aptly picked to illustrate me as a self absorbed cunt was added after the initial swarm of downvotes, so no, that does not explain it. But the rest of your post before you got on a pulpit does shed some light on the matter, and for that I thank you.