Yes, I have struggled with substance abuse myself, but I abused different substances. Prescription stimulants and alcohol. Clean for 3 years. I am trying to live a compassionate life, and show him patience, kindness, and unconditional love while we struggle with this. I have considered ultimatums, but I'm not sure where to draw my line. I think I'll see how things go this summer. Right after I graduate and after our 2 year anniversary. I also think I need to put on a facade of disinterest for a while. It may not be fair to me to sand myself down, but I know that expressing my needs, due to his physical issues, results in anxiety and apprehension. I am going to try to let him take the lead and come to me. And if I go months without sex as a result of that, THEN it might be time for the "something needs to change or I'm out" conversation.