My BP/not-typically-masculine traits:
I don't watch sports at all.
I spend roughly ~1 hour a week watching sports. I spend roughly ~1 hour a week playing sports. Pick up basketball, football, or soccer games.
After 10 year of driving I got rid of my car because public transport is ridiculously good here (Vienna).
I have a truck that gets 12 miles per gallon but can drive up and down mountains in the snow.
"Safe", not too ambitious career, and yes, IT. Married with a daughter and was not a big womanizer before.
Career with a steady path forward. Definitely not safe. I get to occasionally take out very real aggression I have in a socially approved way.
Divorced. Children I sometimes visit with. Was not a womanizer before I got married. Four LTRs. Did not sleep with any of the other women I went out with when looking for the LTRs but if you count hand jobs or blow jobs as sex then number of sex partners changes. After the divorce I slept with both the youngest and oldest woman I've ever been with and increased my slut count considerably. I don't really like it but I really don't see any true options except to spin plates. I have no idea what women you guys claim to be dating but the women I meet are routinely horrible and I have to sift through a bunch of them just to get plates. And I'd never LTR up these plates.
Overweight, although the "manly" way
Lose some God damned weight. Cut that shit out of your diet. Go download myfitnesspal and start tracking what you eat. You are what you eat. Start getting enough healthy fats and cholesterol that you can properly absorb vitamins and get a good multi-vitamin, fish oil, zinc, and vitamin c. Those are the supplements that are worth taking. Maybe a few others.
I am sometimes frustrated that I do not have the body I had when I was 19. Age does that. I'm better looking then almost everyone I see and I know it regardless. It bothers me when people in RL make comments to me about my diet and routines. Anything at all. Even when someone says to me, "wow you're so healthy" it really bothers me. I really do want to fat shame the fuck out of people and I miss fat people hate.
Used to lift when younger, lost interest, now exploring other sports, largely fighting types
Easy routine after you get that diet in line buddy. Push ups to exhaustion three times every two days. As many sit ups as possible for three minutes, to exhaustion, three times every two days. Add in some walking. Listen to a good youtube video on some nice earbuds and just go walk around. Go walk up and down some stairs. Then turn it into jogging. There are a lot of good youtube videos and podcasts around.
Go from there. Maybe get a pull up bar and add those. You'll feel better.
Not fascinated by latest technology, not see it a form of competition to carry the latest phone or whatever.
No I love my sick phone and I'm up to date on all the latest technology. I'm planning on buying a 980GTX Ti when the AMD fury finally comes out next week and the prices start to drop. Assuming they do.
Holidays typically just mean visiting parents
Holidays don't mean anything to me unless I can give the very rare and few people I truly care about gifts and make them happy.
I basically don't spend money on anything competitive, anything that would elevate my status, however, the I kinda like designer clothes over plain ones,
I find that the real problem is finding well fitting clothes. They make clothes that go out around the stomach because everyone is a fat ass like you. But if I buy well fitting shirts I draw attention and look good. I buy whatever, not even sure the brands, off of clearance racks mostly in Nordstroms and other department stores. Which is also a place I have picked up many girls.
I don't own power tools, don't do much home improvement.
I have a garage filled with power tools. I built the room I'm sitting in right now. I've built many rooms. Ugh guy yourlife is depressing...
Few male friends. Two, exactly, but they live far away so just e-mail.
Seven male friends that I trust enough to routinely hang out with. Three of them I would trust to bail me out of jail at 3am. One of them already has.
Ok here's your plan cause your life sucks. Fix your diet. Use myfitnesspal to track what you are eating and plan an intelligent full healthy diet. You will feel so much better and your body will just start to shape up. Then start doing those push ups and sit ups and going for walks. You'll notice shit when you're out walking around anyway. You'll meet people who live around you.
Then go join meetup.com and find a new hobby or two and make it something active. Go hiking or something with a group of new people. Maybe there are one or two people in the group that you will get along with and you can at least make some friends. Once you get some confidence you can start picking up the women as well.
Maybe find a different hobby. If you like the idea of fighting work yourself into shape, add in some stretching routines, and go take some type of martial art class.