If someone—especially my SO—phrased the sentiment in this way, I would feel only that he was patronizing me and treating me as though I don't understand the situation or the fact that I am at fault. The 'grouping' statement makes it sound as though you’re speaking to a child. Instead, perhaps, don't use any pronouns or subjective references; just discuss the problem itself at first as an objective, distant concept, then, if the person is receptive to an initial mature discourse, and only then, mention how it affects both people in the relationship, and finally offer several possible steps to take to achieve progress in a positive direction together. Proffer help then, but don't ever act as though your SO is oblivious, even if you believe he or she to be, and don't assume responsibility on your part for his or her faults. Address such obliquely, but don't completely skirt the fact that the issue with your SO in fact is an issue by pretending you somehow had a direct hand in it.