I remember before the culture war, I saw a pretty accurate representation of the left and right. Both were pretty close to center, except the right was somewhat to the right, and the left was somewhat to the left.

When the culture war began, the Democrat party went much further to the left. People who normally identify as leftists resultantly ended up closer to the conservatives than the new reality of the Democrat party.

I think the Virginia and New Jersey gubernatorial elections spoke for themselves. You can be a regular sane leftist and not be on board with what the activist left is pushing. I think the reason they seem to "be everywhere" is because they spend way more time on the internet than the silent majority that is too busy working, raising children and spending time with friends offline to try to "save the world" by harassing and silencing people who disagree with them on the net.

There's no way to be friends with a leftist activist. I tried repeatedly. When you see the warning signs, you can ask them to please not talk to you about politics literally two dozen times, they just keep doing it. And when they find out that you truly ARE different from them in some respects, their reaction is to delete and block you. In my case, a six year friendship, with me making all the accommodation and compromises. And that was the least unpleasant one.

Don't try. It's a waste of time and your sanity.