Since when is 'knowing somebody' a condition for getting intimate?

Since when is intimacy consent? Your judgement of what someone does with their body is gross. People are allowed to share physical affection without it being sexual in nature. Just because you've shut that part of your humanity off doesn't mean others have or that you deserve worse. You've also made all sorts of assumptions about the circumstances, are you a seer too?

And how often do you talk about 'boundaries' when you're drunk hanging out in a club?

Who cares? Deflect the point more.

Consent is something that must be interpreted from behaviour

Yeah, being drunk or high is a behavior that automatically translates to off limits unless communicated thoroughly. There's a reason it's called taking advantage. People consent to things when drunk that they wouldn't do when sober and that's the fucking point, dude, people knowingly take advantage of it. Many try to make it happen intentionally.

if OP can't remember what signals she gave or if she clearly gave mixed signals then you can't fault an interpretation of consent

She describes feeling violated and remembers trying to stop it, that is evidence for it not being fully consensual and if she was so drunk as to be disoriented then she couldn't have given any genuine consent to begin with. By default you believe it's more likely to be consensual than not.

I'm not saying this was definitely sexual assault either. There's nuance here you're skipping over to shame her for being an affectionate person. She deserves to understand what happened to her and what was done to her, even if you think she should just ignore it.

You can't say 'I may have asked you to spoon me then but now in hindsight I'm retracting my consent and I consider what you did assault'.

Yeah, that's very clearly NOT what she said or implied that was what she was going to do. You are projecting all sorts of hangups and anxieties onto this. She said she remembers more than spooning, more than she could have consented to in that state.

She's not even saying she wants to go after anyone, she's just trying to make sense of what happened to her, you're not even letting her have that.

You need some more common sense.

Your common sense is shallow if it blames a woman for feeling violated in a culture that constantly promotes rape as a punishment for deviancy from the status quo.