I really do wonder how helpful the attitude over there (and the general "AA" attitude that most people seem to have about recovering from alcoholism) is vs how hurtful it is.

There's a lot of good there, and I think most of them probably mean well. It was actually pretty helpful for me when I first started trying to quit drinking. But that attitude just becomes so taxing.

I was drinking insane amounts of booze daily around this time last year. Now I almost never do, but every once in awhile I let loose. Usually for an occasional party or night out with friends. And it's still always far less than I was having every single day a year ago. It keeps me sane to be able to do it once in awhile. Never drinking again is too daunting, and the idea of going to every future party sober makes me want to lock myself in a hotel room and go out like Nic Cage in leaving las vegas.

It's a little more difficult for me than I'm sure it is for most people to not pick it right back up again the next day, but part of that is from this idea that it's such a big gap between "on the wagon" and "off the wagon", rather than it just being a regular day where I'm not drinking.

I don't know, maybe it's just my personality that makes me so incompatible with their attitude. I'm a fairly happy guy, but there doesn't seem to be a lot of realism going on over there, and some of it comes across as phony to me in a way that really puts me off the whole thing. It really does seem cult-like in a lot of ways, especially the "our way is the only way" mentality and the badges - which might be helpful for some people, but to me only seem like a great way to make someone feel especially shitty for having a drink. There probably are some people who need to never drink again to be able to maintain a normal life, but it's certainly not everyone.

Also, congrats OP, and I hope my rant wasn't attacking anything that's been helpful for you.