Yeah I have had multiple conversations about the LL but recently have talked about the trauma from that initial event. (which really didn't seem to help the situation (she now says shes scared to engage sexually with me, even though I did stress the whole time that it wasn't her fault) Honestly though, I find it really hard to not have sex when I'm not really feeling it, because it's something pretty simple I can do to please her. It's not like I can't get it up or whatever, I just have pretty low enthusiasm which makes it pretty difficult/not enjoyable when I'm doing something that requires a lot of work/thought. I will sometimes tell her I'm not in the mood, but I'm still willing to have sex, but that's understandably a pretty big turn off for her.