Being empathetic while simultaneously not really feeling that much doesn't make you a bad person, but it can make you feel like one.

It's an odd bundle of symptoms, but to me it sounds like your depression acting up. I'm not trying to pretend like I could diagnose you or suggest a perfect cure, but there was something familiar in your account.

I've used the ability not to care often when I've recognized, that a friend of mine needs help. If I would let their troubles get too close to me I might steal the show and become part of the problem.

Does this sometimes make me feel a bit shitty? Sure, but it's also helped me to cope and function better in certain situations. Hopefully I'll be able to not rely on it as much in the future. Being more open with my friends about how I feel seems to help a bit, but it isn't a magic switch.

I don't know man. Remember to take time off for yourself too and maybe try to find someone who you can vent to. Someone who you can say to, that you don't seriously give a fuck and who won't be shocked. It helps to take off the mask occasionally. Let's you breathe.

You seem to be very kind and caring by nature, but you also have to explore and accept the darker parts of your psyche, because they are there. If it helps, I believe, that you are a piece of shit, as well as a genuinely good person.