There was almost no reason at all, which is what makes it a lot worse for me. I could at least stomach some kind of reason, although I would still be heart-broken, an explanation would have helped. All she said was "I can't do it right now" and explained the whole situation was putting too much stress on her. I think she had added pressure because I was the one that imposed the "now or never" part of it, because it had been put off so many times, she knew she had to come now...

This is also tearing me up inside, because I don't know if I made the right choice. I told her it had to be the end of us, because I couldn't take being lied to and let down over-and-over any more. A big part of me wants to just say to her "it will be OK, and we'll plan it again for the future", but I've said that to her many times now. I can't keep going round in circles and having my life on hold... But she really feels like the love of my life. We click with everything, and I've never felt this way about those I have been with in-person, and I haven't even physically met her yet.

I told her I'd get in my car, or on a train right now and travel up to see her, so she didn't have to go anywhere, but she refuses. I just don't get it. I don't get it at all, and that's truly what hurts the most. There's no way for me to draw closure on it.