Today I (M 41 HL) broke promises that I made to myself.

Man I tried this is my previous db. Worst idea ever. Girls who don't want to have sex love when you finally "give up". I know your trying to spin it as some sort of self empowerment but honestly your not winning. She is. You can pump up at the gym and not initiate but at the end of the day your still not getting the sex you want. I remember trying it and little by little it made me mad that she didn't notice at all.

I learned until I put my foot down and said "we can't chill AT if we don't have a passionate sexual relationship" she's gonna keep thinking that your not that serious about it man.

She might care cause your being cryptic but I bet she rolls her eyes if she actually hears your new "ploy" errrr I mean reason. Cause I've done it, and face it, that is in essence what this is. Even the fact that you remember and chart how long she didn't notice shows that at its core your doing it to get a reaction.

Imo acceptance is the worst. I don't even think it should be given out as advice. Then again, I've always known in my life that I'd never settle and only stay in a relationship where I was satisfied with all aspects. Personally I was with the girl for 4 years and "broke up" with her. I put it in quotations cause I mean I never thought it'd was truly over when I did it, but it was either snap this pattern the relationship was in, or fuck it, I'm going to pretty much be unhappy forever anyways. When we did get back together I was able to set precedents and we actually kicked it for another 2-3 years after it.

I was a little different tho cause I had already been in incredibly sexual relationships. I know my sexual worth so her rejections never crushed me. Every relationship that I've been in that's ended at some point my ex has called me for sex. I had true confidence in my ability and everytime I got rejected it was more like "if you don't EVER wanna fuck, or don't wanna fuck me, then why the fuck are you even here?" It never hurt me, but then again everyone is different.

Their are some true bait and switch situations but mostly girls who started out fucking like crazy, but don't now aren't really happy. No matter what there is some aspect. When me and that girl got back together sex was good, cause in the time apart we were able to hash out the differences that were basically stifling passion and happiness.

Good luck man.

/r/DeadBedrooms Thread